7 Reasons Why You’re Still Waiting For Love

• Does it seem like you’ve been single forever? Have you given up on love after years of fruitless dating? Watching your friends pair up and settle down is frustrating when it feels impossible for you. Luckily, you don’t have to be resigned to a lonely life. Take a look at your dating behaviors and attitudes — changing just one thing might be the push you need to meet someone special and fall in love yourself.

1. Deep down, you may be really afraid. There are many reasons why you may be frightened of being in a committed relationship. What are those fears, exactly? Being rejected — again? Losing your autonomy? Being suffocated? Making another wrong choice? Opening your heart to love once more and having to deal with pain if it doesn’t work out?

Those fears can undermine our confidence and keep us from reaching out. However, this is only a serious problem if you are unaware of these fears. Once you begin to acknowledge and address these deeply-rooted issues, you can move forward and begin to engage in the kind of relationships you truly want. Begin with honest soul searching. Look closely at your past relationships. What happened? What conclusions did you draw? Look at your parents’ marriage. Would you want a marriage like theirs? It’s courageous to look at our fears and move forward in the face of their presence.

2. You may be more attached to your single life style than you are willing to admit. A long-term committed relationship requires you to change your ways. Perhaps you like that you can go where you want, when you want, and don’t wish to report to anyone about your choices. Perhaps you like the privacy of not having to include anyone else in your plans. Perhaps you’ve never considered the possibility that you could experience freedom in an intimate and committed relationship. It is possible, but first we have to believe it is so.

3. You’ve fallen prey to the scarcity belief! “There just aren’t that many good conscious, aware, available men or women out there.” It is so easy to get agreement and confirmation for this belief! Notice how quickly others will join in with this lament. However, with almost 7 billion people on the planet, half of them being the opposite sex, it is hard to imagine that there isn’t one that could be a good partner! Sometimes, we just have to challenge our beliefs.

4. You believe that all your previous relationships didn’t work because somehow you are missing that “relationship gene.” If we don’t have good experiences in relationships past (going back to the earliest ones as an infant), we can believe that relationship failures are somehow our fault, so we end up feeling inadequate. With this belief, not only does a person feel really terrible about not having a love relationship or losing a love relationship, they feel bad about themselves and who they are. It is important to remember we all bring strengths and weaknesses into our relationships. If we can learn from previous relationships, future relationships will be better.

5. The belief that when you find Mr. or Ms. Right, everything will flow easily from then on. Sometimes we think that challenges are a sign that this person is “just not right one for me.” You may not have found your perfect match if things are constantly difficult, but even great relationships have their share of challenges — especially in the early stages. There are many adjustments each will have to make, and sometimes they aren’t easy. Challenges are not necessarily an indication that it is a bad relationship. The other side of the coin is…

6. You want it so badly you just don’t see the warning signs. It can be really easy to go into denial when the desire for a partner is strong and you have been lonely for a while. If your friends are suggesting caution, pay attention. Look carefully! Does your partner pay attention to you and listen to you? How does your partner keep agreements? How does your partner treat others? Would you want a child to see him or her as a role model?

7. Like so many people, you believe you should have sex as soon as possible to see if you are compatible. The problem with this idea is that you quickly become emotionally entangled, especially if the sex is great. You then project your “ideal mate” expectations on this person. But you don’t really know who they are! It takes time to learn who a person is and what they value, to understand their character, to know how trustworthy they are.

It all takes time, and before you let yourself get so emotionally entangled, it is important to know who you are getting entangled with. Sometimes it works out, but often it doesn’t. When you discover that you really didn’t know this person, it hurts badly to become untangled… thus leaving you reluctant to try again with someone new. Take things slowly and minimize emotional fallout.

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These Are the Startling Consequences of Childhood Bullying

Bullying, it turns out, causes so much more than hurt feelings. In fact, as new research is showing, it can have dramatic consequences well into adulthood. And it’s not just for the victims of bullying, either; bullies themselves, as well as children who are both bully and are bullied, also have similar lifelong problems.

The study, co-authored by Duke University School of Medicine associate professor William Copeland and Dieter Wolke, tracked 1,273 students from 1993, when they were 9 to 13 years old, until they reached 24 to 26 years old. The children who were involved in bullying in any way, roughly 1/3 of the participants, were more likely to have poor health, face financial difficulties, and have trouble in the workplace, school, and even in social relationships. And this just adds to the research published last year by the same team, which found that bullied children were more likely to suffer from mental illnesses as adults.

Even when researchers removed underlying circumstances, such as pre-existing family issues and psychiatric illnesses, the results  stayed the same. Though victims were far more likely to face negative consequences as adults, bullies themselves do not fare as well as adults who had no involvement in bullying whatsoever.

Bullying, the authors wrote, is so much more than, “a harmless, almost inevitable, part of growing up.” Wolke stresses that the ideas about bullying need to be changed because, “the effects are long-lasting and significant.”

So what are these startling consequences of bullying? Click to the next page for a breakdown of the study’s findings.

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Health.

Victims of bullying are 6 times as likely to have a serious illness, like cancer or diabetes, and develop a serious psychiatric illness. Victims are much more likely to be at risk for suicide, too.

Risky Behavior.

Victims of bullying are six times as likely to smoke cigarettes as adults, four times as likely to have been charged with a felony, and more likely to smoke marijuana. Adults involved in bullying at all as children are also more likely to drop out of school and be obese.

Money & Work.

Children involved in bullying in any way are two times as likely to have difficulty maintaining a job and commit to saving money. Thus, they’re more likely to experience poverty in early adulthood.

Relationships.

Children involved in bullying in any way are more likely to have a harder time maintaining good ties with their parents or carrying on long friendships. Researchers did not find any impact on the likeliehood of getting married or having children, however.

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7 Surprising and Safe Uses for Sugar

Health experts sometimes call it “white poison,” or “sweet killer.” And while I have an impossible-to-control sweet tooth, I do realize that sugar is best avoided if you want to stay trim, keep your blood pressure balanced and protect yourself from some major illnesses. Read more about the staggering dangers of sugar here.

But in this article, I just want to list the good uses to which sugar can be put. No danger to your health — just pure benefit!

Get rid of roaches.

Mix sugar with an equal amount of baking powder. The sugar will attract cockroaches, and the baking powder will damage their digestive system. Make sure the mixture is not kept anywhere close to small children or pets.

Keep your cakes fresh longer.

Sprinkle fine sugar over cakes, and they will retain their freshness for a longer time. Bonus: they taste better!

Help your flowers stay abloom.

Have a bunch of blossoms and want to make them last? Offer them a sweet treat: 3 tbsp sugar + 2 tbsp white vinegar + 1 quart warm water = happy flowers! The sugar feeds the stems and the vinegar restricts the growth of bacteria.

Clean your coffee grinder.

Sugar absorbs the smells of coffee and spice. Whirl some granulated sugar in your coffee grinder to get it ready for fresh use!

Quell a Burn.

Tongue on fire from a hot chile or overheated beverage? Suck on a sugar cube. It will soothe your scorched mouth instantly.

Refresh your skin.

The fact that sugar exfoliates is something we all know. But mix it with a mashed banana that has turned overripe, and the scrub turns even more effective. A simpler way is to mix sugar with olive or almond oil, and apply it all over your skin, then step into the shower to get rid of the dead cells and emerge radiant!

Heal a wound.

A study shows that pouring granulated sugar on to bed sores, leg ulcers or amputations before dressing can kill the bacteria that prevents healing and causes chronic pain. The secret: Bacteria need water to survive but sugar draws water from the wound into the dressing.

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Anti-Cancer Apples

Over the last decade, a host of studies have been done on the anti-cancer properties of apples. Many of these studies have made headlines by producing surprising and favorable results.

Although most of the studies done thus far have focused on specific chemical compounds or nutrients in apples, when we look at the nutrients studied together we get a clearer picture of apples as anti-cancer powerhouses.

Due to the weight of mounting evidence for apples’ anti-cancer properties, they have been added to the American Institute of Cancer Research’s “Foods That fight Cancer” list.

Aspects of apples studied in relationship to anti-cancer properties and other disease prevention:

-       Vitamin C (antioxidant)

-       Fiber/Pectin (cleansing, lowering cholesterol)

-       Flavonoids, such as quercetin (which slow development of cancers of the colon, lung and breast.)

-       Triterpenoids, found in the peels of apples (which inhibit or kill cancer cells)

-       Oligosaccharides (which kill cancer cells)

Along with these anti-cancer benefits, apples may also help ward off strokes and give you better lungs. If I were an apple grower I would get planting, or rather grafting!

Although it’s become a common saying, don’t just expect to “eat an apple and keep the doctor away,” regardless of the rest of your diet and lifestyle. Just as viewing an apple’s multiple beneficial nutrients together gives a much clearer picture of its anti-cancer properties, when we think about our health it’s best to look at our diets and lifestyles as a whole…

For compassion, for ethics, for the environment, for the phytochemicals, whole foods and plant-based is the way to go!

Sources:
CBS Washington: Study Finds That an Apple A Day Keeps Cancer AwayDaily Mail UK: Apples Fight Heart Disease, Cancer, Strokes 
Natural News: Apple Cancer Cells Chemotherapy 
Science Daily

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Shocking Ingredients in McDonald’s French Fries

It would be fair to assume that there are three ingredients in McDonald’s French fries:  potatoes, oil, and salt.  But if you assumed that you’d be far from correct.

Starting last year McDonald’s began a transparency campaign most likely to create a more health- and consumer-conscious image of the corporation.  As a result the company has made their ingredient lists and processing techniques available on their website. Out of curiosity, I had to know exactly what is in those fries.

It turns out that there are 17 ingredients in MickeyD’s French fries!  They contain:

-Potatoes (whew! I’m glad that was the first ingredient)

-Canola oil—Most canola oil is now genetically-modified.

-Hydrogenated soybean oil—Like canola oil, most soybean oil is now extracted from genetically-modified soybeans. Plus the hydrogenation process makes the oil more saturated than it would be in its natural form, and unhealthy.

-Safflower oil—Believed to be a healthier cooking oil, most safflower is unfortunately heated to high temperatures long before it is ever used for cooking, causing it to be chemically-altered from the heat, and a source of inflammation in the body when that is the case.

-”Natural flavor”—McDonald’s natural flavor is apparently obtained from a vegetable source, but the “natural” moniker means nothing since it can even potentially contain the nerve- and brain-toxin monosodium glutamate (MSG).

-Dextrose—a type of sugar.

-Sodium acid pyrophosphate—This ingredient is apparently used to maintain the color of the fries.  On the chemical industry’s own safety data sheets it is listed as hazardous for ingestion, which is exactly what you’ll be doing if you eat those French fries.

-Citric acid—used as a preservative.

-Dimethylpolysiloxane—used as an anti-foaming agent, this industrial chemical is typically used in caulking and sealants and comes with a list of safety concerns.

-Vegetable oil for frying, which is a blend of 7 ingredients, including:  canola oil, corn oil, soybean oil, hydrogenated soybean oil with tert-butylhydroquinone (TBHQ), citric acid, and dimethylpolysiloxane.  We discussed most of these ingredients above.  Corn oil, like its canola and soybean counterparts is now primarily made of genetically-modified corn.

TBHQ is a petroleum-based, butane-like (yes, that’s lighter fluid!) ingredient used as a preservative.  It has been linked to asthma, skin conditions, hormone disruption, and in long-term animal studies to cancer and damage to DNA.

Contrary to what McDonald’s may claim in its slogan, I’m NOT lovin’ it!

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Steamy Sex Positions to Heat Up Your Weekend

Interested in some new moves? Here are five we recommend when you want to add some ooomph to your O. You might not love every single one, but hopefully you’ll use birth control, get it on, and have fun trying them out.

On The Edge (also known as the Furniture Position)
Skill level: Simple and laid back
You sit on the edge of a bed, couch, or chair. He gets on his knees, in between your thighs, and you go from there. Bonus: Is it hot out? This is fun to try with you on the edge of a swimming pool.

The Jellyfish
Skill level: Easy squeezie, but good balance is required
This is a face to face, girl on top position. Bonus: This one makes it very easy for you two to sync your movement which could lead to simultaneous orgasms.

The Arch
Skill level: Intermediate
This position proves that sex counts as fitness. Your legs and glutes are going to get a serious workout.

The Reverse Piledriver
Skill level: Intermediate
This is just like 69, but the guy’s on top. Your comfort is very important, so make sure he keeps his enthusiasm in check, if you know what we mean.

Sitting 69
Skill level: Advanced
You’re upside down. He’s holding you up. Warning: He’ll need to be strong enough to safely support you. (It’s all fun and orgasms until he drops you on your head.)

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12 Baby Steps to Better Nutrition

Most of us think that making a  commitment to healthier eating means cutting out our favorite foods and depriving ourselves of the stuff we love most. Actually, the opposite is true. Eating right is all about expanding your food choices, so you bring more options to the table, so to speak, and consume a more balanced (yet still delicious) variety that delivers the crucial nutrients your body craves without depriving yourself, says Lauren Schmitt, RD, a busy mom, registered dietitian, and owner of Healthy Eating and Training, a food counseling center in Los Angeles.

 

Need some convincing? Try some of these sneaky nutrition-boosting strategies, which Schmitt recommends to her clients. Some have to do with shopping choices, others are simple food prep and serving techniques even non-cooks can master. They’ll help you and your family feel fitter, have more energy, and never again equate a healthy diet with deprivation again.

 

1. Rearrange Your Plate

When most of us picture a meal comprised of meat, veggies, and a starch, we imagine meat taking up the biggest portion of the plate. But studies consistently show that eating less meat and more plant food is linked to a longer, healthier life. So flip that image in your mind and start making food grown in the ground your main course. You’ll still be eating the same things, but the healthier ratio will slash calories and fat.
 

2. Go a Little (Wal)nuts

Every time you munch on a walnut, you consume nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids that are believed to protect against cancer and heart disease. Eat them raw, crumble them over a salad or dessert, or buy them chopped and add them to breading for chicken or fish.
 

3. Eat Adventurously

It’s easy to stick to your favorite meal staples—but why not explore your local market and vow to sample an exotic new fruit, seafood, or other product once a week? Grocery stores carry an amazing assortment of choices these days from all over the world and discover new favorites to accompany your old standbys.
 

4. Sneak in Spinach

Raw spinach can go pretty much any place you usually put lettuce (such as BLTs, burgers, salads, tacos), and taste-wise, it’s hard to know the difference. But your body will thank you for the laundry list of powerful nutrients the darker green leaf delivers. In addition to being an excellent source of several vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, spinach has been shown to have cancer-fighting properties.
 

5. Sprinkle on Cinnamon

This breakfast-friendly spice is packed with lots of disease-fighting antioxidants and can even cut down on  inflammation associated with body aches and illnesses. Oatmeal, cold cereal, granola, toast, your latte… they’ll all taste better with a little cinnamon dashed on top, but there’s no extra calories.
 

6. Buy Produce That’s Already Prepped

They’re a little pricier, but fruits and veggies that have been prewashed and precut can mean the difference between the good stuff making it into your mouth vs. sitting in a crisper drawer. Containers of cut-up fruits like pineapple, watermelon, and grapes are perfect as snacks or a side dish with your lunch, and kids love them too. Plus, veggies that are already peeled, chopped, and packaged in microwave steamer bags can be added to your evening meal instantly.
 

7. Toss in a Turnip

Making mashed potatoes? Alone, the taters pack vitamin C, vitamin B6, and potassium, but smashing a turnip into the mix raises the level of vitamin C even higher, plus adds antioxidants and vitamin A. If you chop the greens from the top of the turnip and throw those in to the dish too, you’ll get good-for-you calcium, copper, and iron.
 

8. Make Room for Mushrooms

Next time you’re sautéing ground beef, use a little less meat and fill out the pan with a handful of mushrooms. Not only will you decrease the amount of total fat and cholesterol in your meal, you’ll be gaining Vitamin D—a nutrient that’s relatively rare in food—plus lots of superhero antioxidants. You can also easily sauté mushrooms in olive oil and add them to canned spaghetti sauce or sprinkle a bunch to health up a frozen cheese pizza.
 

9. Do a Dip

If your family is full of stubborn veggie-avoiders, dips are a great solution. Salsa, hummus, guacamole, white bean, spinach, and avocado dips are all made from vegetables or legumes blended in a food processor. When scooped up on tortilla or pita chips, the anti-vegetable crowd won’t realize they’re actually consuming plant food—and reaping the high nutritional content too.
 

10. Cook Carrots Whole

Boosting nutrition doesn’t get much easier than this: Instead of chopping carrots before you put them in the oven or on a stove-top pan, slice them after they’ve been cooked. Researchers in the UK found that doing this will raise their antioxidant content by as much as 25 percent. The reason: chopping them beforehand increases the amount of exposed surface area, and that allows more nutrients to escape during cooking.
 

11. Opt for Organic

The jury is still out as to whether or not eating organic will make you healthier, but most people agree that certain organic fruits and vegetables (apples, strawberries and tomatoes in particular) pack more flavor than their conventionally grown counterparts—and are therefore way more fun to eat. The same goes for farmer’s market produce. If your typical response to biting into a tomato is “eh,” sink your teeth into an organic heirloom one, and you’ll be in for a scrumptious surprise.
 

12. Pop Open a Can of Pumpkin

Check the very back of your cabinets—you probably already have a few cans of pumpkin left over from last  Thanksgiving. By adding a cup of the low-calorie, fiber-rich puree to any pancake or muffin batter, or even using it to replace half the oil in brownie batter, you’ll be scoring Vitamins A, C, and E, plus multiple disease-fighting antioxidants. And pumpkin flavor gives a nice natural sweetness kids love.

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